By Charles Anietie Iyoho

I had no idea what racism was until I was confronted with it at the age of 8.

My family had just moved to a small town in Central Missouri,  a predominantly white community of about 14,000 residents. 

A few days after we arrived, we were invited to a local gathering to meet some of the neighbors. Once we got there, I was asked to join a pickup basketball game in the driveway. 

I had just finished watching Michael Jordan’s dazzling, air-defying, and tongue-swaggering displays in the NBA finals, so I was eager to play and emulate some of the otherworldly skills I had watched. My older sister, who was a great high school athlete at the time, was also there.

I can’t recall all the events that led up to the incident. But I remember the game picking up in intensity and one of the kids getting frustrated by something I did. After several plays, he looked at me, paused for a moment, and called me a “nigger.”

I looked at him with no reaction. I had no idea what the term meant. But my sister, who was 8 years older than me, did. She became incensed, firmly instructing him to never use that word, before storming inside the house to let his mother know what had happened. 

I remember the mother’s response being tepid, which in hindsight concerned me. It was almost as if she had been accustomed to this behavior or even worse, may have been the reason for it. 

I realized a harsh lesson early on in my life: that some people would treat me differently due to the hue of my skin.

Using Racism as Motivation

I continued to experience more racism during my childhood years in Missouri. They were always hurtful, demeaning, and cruel. Whether it was the stinging verbal abuse of classmates, getting food thrown at me at the cafeteria or being on the receiving end of monkey chants. 

But one thing that helped shift my perspective for the better was getting involved in local sports. 

I began to excel in basketball and soccer and started to form strong bonds with teammates, many of them white. 

We did everything together. We traveled to competitions. We bonded over post-game meals, shared laughs, shared stories, exchanged hip hop CDs, got to learn more about one another, and became a very close-knit group. 

It was then that I learned about the incredible relationship-building element of sports: The collaboration. The teamwork. The constant communication and reinforcement. The brotherhood. The support for one another. And don’t forget about those thrilling comeback victories that jolted our emotions to the moon. 

The experience was immeasurable. The togetherness was palpable and authentic. It helped shift my opinion of my white counterparts. And it helped change their opinion of me. I wasn’t just the token black kid on the court or field. I was a friend and a contributing member of the team. We were in it together.

Gaining Resiliency By Overcoming

I would be lying to say that the racism didn’t leave a few lasting scars. But participating in sports elevated me through difficult times. 

It allowed me to cultivate deep bonds with teammates. And it provided a healthy platform for cross-cultural communication, which helped facilitate an environment of openness and understanding.  

I also became a more confident and compassionate individual, eager to connect and learn from others, whose experiences were disparate from my own. It was a powerful metamorphosis that set me on a lifelong path of exploration. 

Till this day, I still have close relationships with many of the players who played on those young Missouri teams. 

In the end, I learned a compelling lesson. There’s a tremendous power in getting to know a person, especially one who is not kind to you in the beginning. It’s one of the toughest things to do. But if it works out, you may strike a friendship that lasts a lifetime.

Final Thoughts

Though it was difficult to contend with the prejudices I faced, I still believe in the inherent goodness of people.

The sting of discrimination is never easy, but in many ways it has strengthened my resolve to advocate for a more equal, just, and inclusive world.

I have found solace in connecting with others fighting to erase discrimination and fighting to create a more equal and just society.

While the journey has been challenging, I am optimistic that we will get closer to a world of understanding, empathy, and solidarity and not one of judgment and mistreatment.

So what are your thoughts on this topic? Do you have similar experiences to share? Let me know in the comments below!

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Organizations Fighting Against Racism

• NAACP
• Race Forward
• UCLA Civil Rights Project
• Yale Resources for Racial Justice
• Center for Racial Justice Education
• United Nations

About the Author

I’m a communication coach, award-winning technical content communicator, music producer, songwriter, blogger, professor, and sports aficionado.

For communication advice, uplifting musical content, thought-provoking interviews, and blog content, join me at: https://anietiecommunity.com/why-i-started-this-community/.